25 November 2015

Just Checkin' In..

It's been a month since I last wrote. I've been at the new job nearly 4 weeks, and as far as living in Raleigh, NC, it's been just about 3 months. Oh, and I'm no longer in control of my depression!

So, the work thing..I enjoy my co-workers, as well as management, but the job itself is physically hard on my back and knees (the knees are definitely in a bad way, as I did not get my Synvisc injections this year. Until we can find an insurance company that doesn't want to stick it to you like the new guy in prison, I don't see it happening next year either! *sadface*), leaving me to be sore/hurting most days. I am trying to find different employment, but so far, the choices have been slim, leaving to remain in a position that continues to hurt my body.

Thus far, I've found the move to North Carolina to be both good and bad, with me tending to lean ever so slightly toward bad. There are some great deals in the supermarket. The LCS (local comic shop) I've been dealing has been awesome. Food is definitely better tasting down here! And as of last Saturday, we found a new groomer that was delightful as well as making Lily feel like a million bucks!

However, the job situation is definitely a major issue, contributing to my no-sign-of-receding depression! The job is more demanding on my body that I was expecting (something I did sign on for when I came down here!). Time-wise, it's especially difficult as my wife works M-F, usu. until either 6:30 or 7, depending on that week's schedule, and I seem to be working *every* weekend (I am both a cashier, as well as working in the floral department. However, I am leaving the floral department come January.)!

I had hoped to find a new church after we settled in. We tried one a couple weeks ago, but we have since been unable to try it again due to the weekend scheduling. This should hopefully change after I leave floral in January, but until then, I am stressed.

I am further stressed/depressed, as I had a chance to work seasonally for Amazon.com's customer service end. I was all set to begin training, etc., but when the cashier/floral position was offered, I took that instead. It makes me wish that much for that "magical RESET button"!

 I don't know what else to say right now without it sounding like bitching, whining, etc. Thanks for listening, whoever is still reading my blog.

22 October 2015

Unemployed Schlub No Longer (And I Am Getting Some Control Of My Depression!)

Wow! I was re-reading some of my recent posts since my wife and I relocated to NC, and all I say is "YEESH!". Seriously, my depression levels were pretty high, it would seem! Thankfully, I have kinda-sorta gotten control of it since the last post. What has helped is I am now working! YAY! FINALLY!

Yes, as of this week, I am officially working for a highly successful NC-based supermarket change (no names, dear readers! Spoilers, don't'cha know?). The end of last week was spent reviewing 12+ hours of videos, along with post-viewing testing, all done on a computer. Fortunately, I was paid for the training, and while less painfully that root canal, I am glad that is behind me. Yesterday was my first post-testing training, as well as some real hands-on, "no training wheels" cashier work. While it's been a number of years since I was a cashier, I found the return to be both rewarding (partly influenced by sheer delight at working again after almost 4 months of unemployment: 2 in NJ, and then nearly 2 down in NC), as well as fun.

It's funny, too, that I am working in customer service, as I have learned that I really don't like people. I know what you're thinking, "But, Spacedog, you're a Christian, and well, um, that doesn't sound very Christian". To which I'd say you're right, and then I would dump a chocolate milkshake on your head! No, actually, I wouldn't do that, because that would be a waste of a perfectly good milkshake!

All kidding aside, I've tried to find a way to love people as a whole, and embrace all that they are, but then I step out my front door and all goes to hell in a hand basket. Seriously, from the unrelenting inability to put down the cellphone to dressing like whores to people wearing t-shirts with a hunting license printed on the back and the words "Terrorist Hunting Permit" written on it to the need for people to blare their rap music super loudly with the bass cranked to "11" (it's even more annoying when it's white people doing it, because, well, duh, they are not the demographic the crappy music is aimed at!). Other pet peeves include not cleaning up after your dog (my wife and I have 2 "fur babies", and we've never neglected to pick up the poop!), apartment neighbors living above with no regard for those of us living below, Republicans (waaay too many reasons to list for just them alone!), and fake hypocritical Christians.

There are a lot of other things that have led me to conclude that I really don't like people, but that gives a good general understanding. Maybe in time, I can learn to eliminate that feeling overall, but I think without being able to push all those rap-blaring sons-of-bitches into a landfill, followed by all the Republicans, and then proceed to fill it in, I don't think it's going to happen.

I've also come to realize that I like dogs a heckuva lot more than I do people! Dogs, as is well-known, as the best source of unconditional love on this planet. Who is always happy to see you when you return home, no matter what time of day? Yup, dogs. Who will always be there, listening to whatever you have to say? Yup times two, dogs. And who will want to go with you no matter the distance or the destination? Dogs. Need I say more?

I recognize that it probably seems unChristian to harbor that sort of ideal, but as I said, I hope to eventually work through it. Much of it really came together in my head during these last few months, as I sank ever lower in my depression. However, even as I began to swim above it, I still find that my dislike of people seems to remain.

For what it's worth, I have put together a short list of things that I believe will help me to move beyond that belief:

  1. Find/make friends who will not betray me.
  2. Eventually confront (in a diplomatic, non-invasive way!) the ├╝ber heavy-footed African-American family that lives above us.
  3. Continue to go out on my days-off, exploring other areas of Raleigh, NC, thereby hopefully shedding the "negativity" in regard to people.
So there it is. Not a long list, but one that definitely will require some work as such. My new job will, I believe, be a big help in regard to Number Three on the my list. There were some truly nice and genuinely sincere customers yesterday during my first day on the register, so there is a lot of potential there to help me. In any case, as the saying goes, "Rome wasn't built in a day.."

But, hey, at least I don't have a dark cloud over my head every morning when I wake up! And that's my positive spin on all of that..